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Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Case for Liberal Sex

There are many great reasons to engage in sex ASAP. I’m not going to deny them like so many of my conservative counterparts do. For one it’s good pleasure, and it’s good pleasure now. Sexual abstinence cannot claim that same sort of instant gratification. Another good reason that is often marginalized, or neglected altogether, is the idea that sexual seasoning desensitizes one to the superficial aspects of a copulating relationship; mostly that is for the worse, but here’s why it does it for the better. The more you have sex, or at least one time, you find out they lied to you…and that sex will not in fact change your life instantly and it is indeed merely on one hand just a natural chemical and physical interaction between two humans (yes I’m neglecting the emotional and spiritual interaction, as well as the consequences here). That said, this person who’s experienced the physical encounter of sex now knows this empirically, something a virgin, volitional or not, cannot claim (the fantasy of how great sex will be always trumps the reality I’m presuming). A person who’s experienced sex a lot will know this even better; that is, how meaningless the encounter is devoid of that emotional and spiritual connection that we were meant to have to the person you’re having sex with. It’s why I presume married couples consistently report “better” sex then pre/extra-marital sex partakers report.

Anyways my point here is that liberal sex (or sex at all) eliminates the anticipation of what sex “will be like” that a virgin is plagued with, for better or for worse, from puberty onward. This allows the individual to then have to the freedom to exclusively focus on who the person they’re planning on having sex with is – instead of having to worry so much of what that sex experience will actually be like. This is an advantage because they can spend more time pondering this person’s inner qualities instead of focusing so much on superficial aspects. Sort of a “get it out of your system so you can hopefully think about the important things” sort of way. Sure a lot of guys would like the idea of what we vulgarly call “baggers”…women to have sex with that wear a bag over their heads so we don’t have to deal with them on any “emotional, relational” level - or if they're just not facially attractive. But you and I both know that is virile depravity at its worse. We know a guy that has no relational intentions beyond intercourse is a you-know-what. But the idea of already knowing empirically that sex won’t change your world instantly; well I’m a bit envious of people that already know that. Sure I know it’s true yes…but I don’t know it. It’s like I know driving a Ferrari F450 is an amazing experience, but I don’t know it because I haven’t driven one yet. And because I haven’t driven one yet, I’m so focused on what that experience will be like instead of whether I’d like it in Rossa Corsa Red or Rossa Metallico Red.

The negative tilt here for the virgin is they focus on physical aspects related to the act of sex perhaps too much. (i.e. Will this person be "good in bed"? Should I hold out for someone more physically attractive because somehow I think that will equate to more sexual fulfillment? I've been waiting, doesn't that mean I deserve physical X or Y? etc.)

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