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Monday, March 15, 2010

Pretty Wedding Pictures and Perfect Bridesmaid Dresses a Good Marriage Don’t Make

Watching an advertisement the other day featuring a wedding couple in various stages of their extravagant and beautiful wedding day got me thinking; what a terrible indicator the marriage day is for the future success or failure of a marriage. Yet the irony of it all is I think deep down we believe the more beautiful and romantic a wedding day is, (and by no means do I have anything against beautiful and romantic weddings – unless they’re extravagant for the sake of extravagance) the more “meant for each other” the couple is. Yet despite how many flowers are there, how expensive the dress is, how many photographers and videographers are present, how many “cute” pictures of the couple during the obligatory “slideshow with pretty music” time, how many toasts there are from close friends and relatives, how many “meant for each other” comments are made during the toasts, how many songs are played that seemingly “fit” the relationship perfectly, how exotic the honeymoon location is…these things have little to no bearing on whether the relationship is actually a good one in the first place, and will be successful. On the flip side, don’t think modesty is shoo-in either. Just because a couple goes “budget wedding” and takes their honeymoon next summer when they have the money doesn’t mean the stars aligned just for them either.
What I’m saying here is that I’m realizing there are so many factors that define a relationship’s rightness, and most of them are not visible to the eye during a wedding. Yet weddings and wedding days (though a wonderful event) are so highly touted and overrated in so many peoples’ mind. I often wonder if like 40th anniversary parties were as promoted and celebrated as weddings were, if pre-marital couples would focus less on the wedding particulars and more on who they are and whether they should be getting married in the first place…at least at that particular time. There seems to be a dearth of humble sobriety at weddings concerning the weight, importance, and depth that the union of marriage represents…and how doing it wrongly or hastily can not only majorly affect spouses but also potential children, extended family, and generations of offspring well into the future.

How is this related to The Virgin Manifesto? Well ones view on the sanctity of sex naturally correlates to ones view on the sanctity of marriage. Conversely, liberal sexual views naturally lead to liberal views on marriage. In this case, conservatism is a path I am willing to choose not for my benefit, but for the benefit of my potential future spouse, children, and generations that may follow as a result of my decision to marry the person I marry on my wedding day. These are values that are worth making less of me, and more of them.


  1. well said Keith. what about liberal sex after marriage? I am in favor of that!

  2. Haha yes...I'm all for liberal sex after marriage too (so is God!). Thanks for pointing out the potential confusion of my intent there.