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Wednesday, October 23, 2013

The Sexual “38th Parallel”


                Now that I have had sex am a married man, I will be distinguishing any future posts and content with the moniker of either Pre-M (pre-marriage) or Post-M (post-marriage).  This demarcation point[i] is very important to me because the last people I ever wanted advice from as a virgin was from a non-virgin.  It’s not that I didn’t believe they had good intentions and perhaps even my best interest in mind, it’s they irrevocably could no longer relate to the plight of a volitional virgin because of their state change.   

I knew this then, and I know it experientially now.  All bets are off for me regarding the topic of volitional virginity because I can have sex any time now.  It’s a simple fact your mentality changes, and significantly in certain facets, when you go from not being able to have sex (based on personal conviction) and to be able to have it.  I knew this from a very young age and therefore I never really could 100% trust the words that came out of an adult that had either had sex before or one that was married.  It’s not that I didn’t trust the content behind their ideas (truth be told much of my thought was shaped by these same ideas).  I think this is a big reason why abstinence education often is reported as “failing”.  It’s not that the concepts and ideas behind it are negligent or ineffective, it’s the presentations and presenters are (ergo the overall premise of my book).  Why should I listen to someone who didn’t wait themselves or currently can have sex without much difficulty now?  They don’t know what it’s like, I reasoned personally, and I have a feeling many adolescents are doing the same as they tune out any semblance of abstinence education.

This doesn’t mean I’ll stop writing about a topic, human sexuality, which I’m still very passionate about, but it does mean I don’t expect any virgins to take my Post-M words without a grain of salt.  I will continue to post Pre-M content as well, because I have bucket loads of that still on like 3 computers and 5 flash drives – which all will eventually compose the book’s contents.  That Pre-M came from a virgin’s mindset; Post-M does not, despite rallying the same basic conviction.  Adjust your personal conclusions accordingly.

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