Sexual n00bs

Sigh...another virgin stereotype confirmed.  Most virgins are sexually ignorant folk. 

Not trying to pick on this show again, or this particular couple (I’m on their side), TLC’s The Virgin Diaries, but this most recent “realization” by the previously virginal couple manifests what’s wrong with the existing volitionally virginal population.

'Virgin Diaries' couple say their big moment wasn't 'like in the movies'

The couple is not to be at fault for their lack of experience; that is to be expected.  What irks me is this element of surprise they exhibit.  I mean did you actually think your first time having sex would be like its portrayed in the movies and TV?  Are you ignorant enough to think those mediums are accurate representations of real life?  Come on kids. 

Abstinence, as with all things, comes with it an element of ignorance sure.  If I abstain from ever eating mushrooms, sure I don’t know what that mushroom tastes like or exactly how to properly eat it when I do, but I sure as heck know I won’t double in size with the ability to smash bricks with my head and smush Goombas with my feet.  In the same way, a virgin will not know the inner workings of sexual intimacy; that is a given.  But to think it will be some supernaturally magical experience that will change your life forever?  Come on.  That’s as ignorant as girl thinking once they get married their husbands lust problem will be over. 

Yet that is what we’re taught, whether explicitly or implicitly.  Whether it be from inside the walls of a church or just a Disney classic (implicit of course); that the first sexual experience is supposed to a magical, life-changing one right?  Who is propagating this?  Let me disclaim that I’m not trying to marginalize the experience or the undergirding principles of purity and integrity here; not at all.  I’m just saying to expect anything more than a most likely pseudo-awkward, probably confusing, mildly terse affair (albeit hopefully somewhat pleasurable) for two virgins going at it for the first time (one non-virgin may help out) is ignorant and immature at best.  We need to be better than that.  That sort of pie-in-the-sky ignorance will garner no such respect from an already mocking and skeptical world.  We need to have better awareness of our sexuality. 

Note also that guys have a distinct advantage in this area of awareness being that most likely they’ve “experienced” the crux of the engagement, and its brevity, many times before on their own.

Again, this realization isn’t to marginalize or discredit the institution of marriage whatsoever.  In fact, it actually gives weight to the aged-old principle of monogamous establishments.  What better institution to build, cultivate, and refine a relationship not only emotionally, but sexually, then in the committed, long-term, covenant of marriage?  You’re supposed to be a sexual neophyte the first time you have it.  But what a great way to develop that aspect of the relationship in a life-long marital relationship.  Of course you could “refine” you sexual skills outside of marriage, but the one main difference is in marriage you can do it guilt and shame-free (not to mention a host of other benefits).  And that my folks is what I'm banking on to be worth the price of admission.

TLC's 'The Virgin Diaries'

Oh geez.  I guess it was a matter of time with all the obscure and ridiculous reality tv shows on today, but TLC has an upcoming special called “The Virgin Diaries”.  It’s sure to include all the weird, socially-awkward, unattractive, fundamentalist religious folk that most of our society presupposes is included in the adult virgin population.  
*face palm*

Couple saves awkward firstkiss for wedding day on 'Virgin Diaries'

Trying...

Trying to find the time and will to finish and post my plethora of thoughts and articles on life, love, and, why.  Apologies...

Response to Below Post

Working on a response to the below post that will be called "The Point of No Return"....because yes I was a bit emotional, self-righteous, and harsh when I wrote it late at night.  Not an apology per se, but a supplemental clarification perhaps.  Should be done soon.

Most Christians No Different From World; Apparently Bang a Lot

LINK: Why young Christians aren't waiting anymore            

   What the hell?  8 out of 10 Christians between 18-29 have had pre-marital sex?!  I knew it was higher than what churches and Christian parents want to believe but 80%?  And let’s be honest, at least 10-15% of people in any social group typically have less than desirable qualities from a purely vain and carnal perspective so really you’re easily looking at less than 10% of, less than 1 and 10, Christians truly volitionally holding to their word and will and not conforming any longer to the pattern of this world?

Just very depressing, disheartening news...  Here you have a group of people that should know better than anyone else the imperative regarding this area of human experience and frankly they just can’t keep it in their pants like barely sentient Neanderthals.  Why try anymore?  Why fight for goodness?  Just seems like a losing battle when those that should be a bastion of hope, perseverance, and consistency end up dragging their same Savior’s name through the mud with stats like this.  Yeah I screw up big time all the time…and I’ve committed adultery in my heart too many times to count, but when it comes to volitionally and willfully living a higher standard out regarding the most sacred human experience we can act upon, well what crushing news this is…  This confirms there few else out there fighting the good fight anymore…and if they are, the scattered few are so few and far between – like desert roses - that it's almost a lost cause.  

Perhaps I’m being really judgmental and harsh here (I am...and it's 1234am), and to be honest I am emotionally upset at the moment, but geez…if Christians can’t even stay legit, what hope is there for a society already with hearts lost in nowhere?    But then again, who cares?  I mean contrary to what I thought growing up, having pre-marital sex does no seem to mess you up for the rest of your life.  In fact, apart from some STD’s and the occasional unplanned pregnancy inconveniences, most pre-marital sexers seemingly end up having perfectly fine, successful, and vibrant lives.  So what’s the big freaking deal?  Apparently ~90% of Christians aged 18-29 don’t think there’s one.  I mean people like Bristol Palin are seen as gulp…role models.   Purity rally's and promises are bogus.  Anyone can sign a worthless piece of paper in front of their youth group or put on a ring to make their parents smile.  They don’t mean anything when push comes to shove…when you’re faced with caving in to the pressure or spending Friday and Saturday nights at college alone with your thoughts…when you have to weather the constant social stigma of prudishness and abnormality….when you’re accused of homosexual tendencies cause you didn’t go up a girl’s skirt after prom…when everyone and their freaking mother assumes that you’re banging the girl your dating because who post like 22 years old doesn’t do that?  But no one writes these promises on their hearts anymore (or ever for all I know), akin to etching words into a stone block....sigh

Screw you pagan worldview, screw you Satan.

I’m weary…

EbbWorld Annex

For anyone not already aware, I've started another blog called "EbbWorld Annex"...with topics about life, love, and why. A lot of ancillary stuff to this blog as well. Check it out!

http://annex.ebbworld.com/

"Do You Want To Die A Virgin?"

With all this recent “end of the world” talk that this latest group led by Harold Camping (by no means the first, and of course will not be the last) is generating in the media, it got me thinking about a question I’ve been posed since high school; “Do you want to die a virgin?”. It’s a curious question really…mostly because I find it so unnecessary and misplaced considering the context of thinking about things to do before you die. I mean when I think of that weighty question, I think of wanting to do things that actually matter and have real meaning. I’m not saying sex doesn’t have real meaning, but the way the question is almost always posed is in the context of doing it just to “check” it off some sort of bucket list. If I were engaged and someone asked then someone asked the same question, well it’d take a little different meaning, and I’d probably answer no…because then I’d be considering the idea of having sex with the person I most care about in the world. In that sense it wouldn’t be a checklist type of thing. But considering the context 99.9% time I’ve been asked that question, my answer is that I could care less really. Sure from a purely visceral perspective of course I’d love to have sex before I die, but I’m not too worried if I don’t get to do it. It’s sort of on par of wanting to take a vacation to some beautiful island in French Polynesia before I die. Would I love to do it? Certainly! Do I really care if I don’t get to it before mortification? Not terribly.

And I suppose part of my apathy to that question is the fact that despite not having it, I know it’s no life-changing experience. The world, the media, and our peers (and yes our churches and church culture) I know blow the experience of sex way way out of proportion and give it way too much weight; something that hinders most men and lots of women in life (hindered me I know). Poor kids these days grow up thinking whether they’ve had sex or not by a certain age actually means a damn thing; which as adults we all know is meaningless with regards to a person’s worth, character, and success in life.

In fact, apart from the intimacy of a close relationship (preferably in marriage, but married folk do not hold a monopoly on relational intimacy), sex is quite meaningless. Perhaps not meaningless, but apart from that emotional intimacy, it is reduced to a lab environment; a vulgar collaboration of chemical reactions and animal instinct, devoid of any true substance that defines man. Sex gets its meaning from relationship, not the other way around. So if people think I’m really hung up on this whole “act of sex” thing, I’m actually not. The act of sex, though very fleshy desirable to me, actually isn’t very intellectually, spiritually, or emotionally intriguing to me. Well unless a wife, or potential wife, is there. That said, how we carry ourselves sexually says a lot about our character, our temperance, and our ability to consider the sanctity of relationships and others above ourselves and our temporal physical desires. The act of sex outside of marriage isn’t what hurts us, it’s what that act says about our volition, our priorities, and our self-control that can be damaging. But I digress…